Bring It On 2017

2017

As I sit dunking coconut cookies into a nice cold glass of milk at 2am, I start to think of what about this year could I do to better myself? I have plenty of fears about 2017 and just generally being a grown up, but I feel I’m somewhat ready for it? I mean, I’m not 100% sure, but I just have a gut feeling that something about this year will change my life, well I’m hoping that it does!

I know people make resolutions every year, some they keep, some they dabble into now-and-then when they remember, so I’m gonna participate in trying this year. But I’m gonna try be as realistic as possible because a diet or joining a gym is something I know I probably won’t commit to, still, there’s no harm in trying. So, 2017, here are my top 5 promises to you:

  1. Jump More

No, not in the literal sense, but more so in the sense of going for the things I want to do but fear to do. So ‘jump more’, take more risk. Even if I fail, it won’t hurt to say that at least I’ve tried.

2. Stay Connected

This is a promise to old and new friends. That this year, I will try my best to (re)unite with you at some point and do it more often. I noticed I am surrounded by a whole bunch of beautiful people, some I’m only connected to via social media or text. Therefore it is my promise to make a more physical appearance. But it takes two to tango so please, dance with me when you can.

3. Treat Yo’self

Now this is more for me. I need to start doing things more for myself because for some reason I let guilt hold me back from doing whatever I want. So, buy that jacket I feel I don’t deserve mainly because it’s too pricey. Take more dance classes.Enhance a dormant skill. Don’t be afraid to try something different. Enjoy all the little things the world has to offer. I feel people get too busy being concerned about achieving the whole get education-get a good job-be in a relationship goals that they forget to just take time to treat themselves. It’s not selfish to make yourself happy, so here’s to hoping that it opens me up to something new that I can enjoy this year.

4. Petition against Petty & Shine light on Shade.

2016 has got my emotion doing acrobatic skills that I find myself being fabulously bitter at the world. I wasn’t raised to be self-entitled nor feel like the world owes me something, which means no more being a brat and letting the things that hurt as quick as possible. There will be no more space for pettiness and shade, just forgiveness and patience. To those who know me know that this will be hard for me, but 2017 got me feeling positive.

5.

This is left blank for now. This is for all the upcoming resolutions that will pop up during the year. For all the actions that I will take to better myself. For all the efforts I will put in for others; and for the things in the strange and beyond that is coming to change me. I am ready for it all. So 2017, BRING IT ON!!!!

I hope this year will bring something new and life changing for you all, even if it’s scary, don’t worry, we’re all probably experiencing the same sort of feeling. But for now, lets all get ready to take the plunge together. To 2017!!!!! Whooo!!!!

You Let Your Mother Sleep in the Cold

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Hello people!! Hope Christmas has treated you well and hope you’ve have all enjoyed the company and warmth that came with Christmas. However, for some, they unfortunately didn’t have the same warmth extended to them, both literal and metaphorically.

As Christmas commenced, we sat around the table with smiles and empty stomachs all ready to dig in and share stories. Empty plates became full and empty stomach slowly start to get filled. But as we sat and talked, my mother told us a story about the homeless woman she met during her last minute Christmas eve shopping.

As she was walking, a lady stopped her to ask her for money. My mom than stops and asks her “Will you be spending this money on alcohol later?”, the lady replied “No”. Turns out she just came back from her daughter’s HOUSE to give the present she had for her granddaughter, a present she used all the money she just begged for to get. Stunned by her reply, my mom then asks “how come they didn’t invite you in to spend Christmas with them?”. Saddened, the lady said that her son-in-law was not comfortable to have her in the house because of her “state” (yes, please be angry at the son-in-law with me). So with that she was let back into the cold whilst her daughter and son-in-law enjoy the joys of Christmas with their daughter.

It was here we paused, dumbfounded on how someone would let their mother roam the cold streets during Christmas simply because of her “state”. She raised that woman, she carried her for nine months, she tried her best to provide for her, but now? Now she’s pushed back out like an unwanted pet? It was just so heartbreaking.

Sometimes I feel like this western world I live in is so advanced, but then sometimes I question if moral is something that still exists? In our culture, parents are praised and highly respected, no matter how in-the-wrong they may be. Sure you can judge how that relationship works, but I can assure you never in our life would we let our mother enter a home just to go back out to being homeless. Things are different here. Yes, things are more complex. But what tells you that it was OK to let your mother continue to be homeless on a day like Christmas? Was the idea of spending money on an extra person too much for you? Like, I just don’t understand it. Is this how the west treat those who raise them? As if they’re disposable trash? Just think about that for a second. There may be family complications in the past, things might’ve happened, but it was Christmas for Pete’s sake! Even now my heart goes out for the woman who had nothing to provide something for her granddaughter. Wherever she is, may she find peace in this world, with herself and her family; and may the family that pushed her out realise their mistake and take actions immediately, because this is not the kind of world I want to be living in, where we treat our family as unwanted baggage.

Guys, love one another. Don’t let pride come between you and those you once loved. Life is too short to be treating those close to you like this.

I hope you all have a brilliant year next year, filled with love, care and peace. Stay blessed my fellow humans.

Merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Why Mo’ana should be your daughter’s feminist icon!

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YAY! After finally using my 3 year old nephew as an excuse to go watch Mo’ana, I have finally ruled Mo’ana as THE best feminist icon amongst the Princesses of Disney; and yes, your daughter should look up to her as an aspiring independent woman. “Why?” you may ask, well sit tightly because I’m about to give you at least 5 reasons on why she should be the home-girl to your children.

  1. She decides what her future holds

With her tradition and culture on the line, there were some social obligations that she had to abide to. Although these were something important, she did feel she was made for something different. So without any disrespect, she decided to pursue the dream within her. Your children were made for something great, but the word ‘great’ will mean something different for each kid. As long as they’re doing what makes them happy, they will be doing that ‘great’ thing they were made for.

2. No damsel in distress over here

Instead of the usual, prince saves princess, Mo’ana upped it a notch by saving a demi-god, A DEMI-GOD!! Like hello, who is Prince Charming even? A young girl who was off on an adventure to save her island and culture comes to meet a demi-god low in self-esteem and manages to help him realise his own potential without the acceptance from others.

3. Self-taught canoe sailor

Name me a princess that was able to find a canoe and teach herself how to sail across aggressive oceans with a confused chicken as comfort? Hmm? No one? Well there you go. Your child should be inspired by her initiative. No need for them to wait and learn something they want to learn from someone else, when they themselves can go out into the world and learn it for themselves. Life is like that, so, do it for you kids!!!

4. Never a giver upper

There was a scene where Maui, the demi-god, wanted to give up simply because his magic hook was close to being broken. As she nearly came to giving up herself, the spirit of her grandmother pushed her to continue without the help of a demi-god. A young, female human took on the challenge to fight against the demon of the earth without any help. If her perseverance doesn’t spark something in your child, then shake them a bit, maybe they’re broken.

5. ” I am Moana of Motusi. You will board my boat and restore the heart to Tafiti

Mo’ana had one job, to find Maui, get him on her boat, and save her island; OK, maybe more than one. So on the first instance of meeting Maui, she was on the ball on what she came to do. No faffing about, no distractions, she got to the point. Don’t let your daughter be the passive woman everyone expects her to be. Lets her demand what she wants and get it, within good reason of course.

So ye, these are my reasons on why she beats all the other Princesses of Disney. They’re all pretty and that, but none of them sailed across the ocean, fought coconuts, and calmed a demon all in barefoot. Take your kids to go watch it, yes, both sons and daughters, let them singalong, let them laugh but most importantly, let them board the boat of Mo’ana of Motunui and learn something about restoring their hearts.

Dear Selective Feminist…

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The other day on my commute back from work, I overheard two ladies in their mid-twenties talking about the progression of women in this day and age. So the conversation kind of went like this:

Woman 1 : Even though a lot has happened for women, I still don’t understand why we’re still considered inferior to men

Woman 2: Exactly! We’re just as strong as them. Just as smart, or even smarter

*Small Laughter*

They then continue to profess that “I am like, a big feminist”

Like.. ok then!

After a short while of talking and standing, woman 2 then starts to grow tired.

Woman 2: I can’t believe that all these men are sitting whilst women like me have to stand. It’s disgusting. What happened to being gentlemen? I missed how men treated women back in the days. They were more courteous. They were more classier too. I mean, I’m in heels, standing! And these men are just sitting down! How DISGUSTING!!!!

Throughout their rant, I did agree with their notions of gender equality. I myself consider myself a feminist. But I draw the line where people who call themselves feminist go back on themselves and pick and choose on which part of gender equality is more convenient to them. Dear female on my train, if you were well and able enough to go out in heels, get intoxicated and do all that you did, don’t ever come back and complain about “unfair” that no men offered you their seat. Since you’ve proudly announce your alliance to feminism, don’t fall back on it by complaining that your feet hurts because your heels were too high.

You as a woman have decided to wear what you wore out of choice. You have decided to go out on a night out and get drunk out of choice. You have explored all your choices as a woman in one night well enough to be able to withstand the pain of standing for a couple of stops.

No man offered you their seats, so what? You were strong enough to dance in them heels all night, suck it up!! Don’t pick and choose on when you want to be a feminist, because some women don’t have that ability. Some women are trapped at home out of fear. Some women don’t go out wearing what they want out of cultural obligations. Some women don’t get to have fun with their own girls because the situation they are in does not allow them to. So since you have this freedom as a woman, SUCK IT UP!!! Don’t wait for any man to offer you their seat. You are strong! Stand the WHOLE JOURNEY if needed!

Yes both gender are suppose to be helping each other out, but don’t be the type to wait for someone to offer you that help. HELP YOURSELF!!!  If you want to play the strong independent woman role, then play it till the scene ends. Don’t create  yourself an interval where you play weak in order for things to go your way. Don’t pick and choose honey! You wanna be a feminist, THEN FEMINIST THE HECK OUT OF LIFE!

Gender equality is yet to be reached, we all know this. So let’s not make it worse by going back on ourselves.

Dear Customers,

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I’ll start this by saying, that no, you’re NOT always right.

So I’m a bartender in Central London. It’s a great bar, busy and some friendly people come in. But there are some who are just so down right difficult and it makes me question who raised them.

Yesterday was the most frustrating close I’ve ever had to encounter. Every bar has a system right? Like when to start packing things away, when to start cleaning, all of which leads up to closing which has a time. Our bar has three levels, the terrace, the main bar and the cellar bar. In order to maintain order, we close both the terrace and cellar bar at 10pm in order to give us time to clean it as we close the whole bar at 11pm.

We’re always busy on a Friday, both the bar and the cellar bar was packed. At 10pm I had the task to chase them all to the main bar just because its procedure; and here’s is where the drunk, obnoxious, rude and arrogant customers step in and try to disturb our process.

“Why you kicking us out so early?”- not kicking you out, just moving you all to the main bar.

“We spend money here, we give you business”- ye, that’s fair enough but what can I do but follow procedure?

“You’re only doing this so you can close early and go home”- half true, but no, its so when you all leave here, we don’t have to struggle to clean the mess you all leave behind.

I don’t know where some customers get this mentality that just because they spend money at a certain place, they think we then owe them something, apart from great customer service that is. But it’s like, come on guys, why so arrogant? What makes you think you can enforce your customer status and mistreat the workers? Don’t you feel bad about your behaviour? I tried my best being nice and just keep going, yet these people just kept putting up a fight and refusing to leave.

You know, being a decent human being is being respectful of everyone, no matter who they are, no matter their job, no matter what, it’s just respecting them for trying to do something with themselves for a living. You shouting “We’re gonna give you a bad review on YELP” just because we were trying to do our job as nice as we could (even though y’all didn’t deserve it) doesn’t help any situation.

Yes, the saying “the customer is always right” may be correct, but it doesn’t stretch that far. Sometimes you’re wrong, sometimes you have to listen, sometimes you even have to humble  yourself in order to see the person trying his best to do his job. It’s not hard to be respectful, well maybe it is in this day and age. However, just think about your actions before going through with it. We like y’all for bringing us business, but as much as we’re trying to keep a hundred other people happy, you gotta be understanding of our situation and respect out process.

Any-who, that is all I have to say. Be kind. Be Humble; but most of all, be respectful.

My Rules of Attraction

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Have you ever had a moment where you find yourself attracted to a person and then you start to question ‘why?’, but you just can’t seem to put your finger on it? Ye, me too. But then at one point it just all clicks with you.I’m gonna share it with you my top 5, from most important to least.

  1. Humour

I know to say this is a bit generic, however I don’t mean humour as in “give me as many jokes you can”, I’m talking about that intellectual humour. That humour where the wit is so good, you go back home still laughing about how clever it all was. I can’t be having any pranksters or those who try too hard for a laugh,no sirree, that’s too tiring for me. I want me some clever wit, well constructed and thought through quick, so good that it provides a laugh that puts me on pause to also enjoy that smile on your face.

2. Manners 

This actually goes hand-in-hand with humour. One thing I detest the most, is bad manners. I cringe at those who do not recognise their own behaviours and ill-manners. I’m not asking you to provide me with good manners, no! I’m asking for kindness and consideration to those around you. If you’re the type to don’t say “please” or “thank you”, then let me teach you by saying “THANK YOU for your interest, but PLEASE invest your time in learning what acceptable behaviour looks like.

3. Love for Family & Friends

I always say, the way a person treats those close to them is how they’ll treat you as a partner. This may not always be true depending on the upbringing I guess. Like, they may have really crappy parents, so it makes sense to have that statement proved otherwise. But I do find it attractive for someone to adore those close to them. To speak kindly of them, appreciate them and at the same time have me be so involved. I’m a family kind of guy, so if you have respect for these things, then hello, the church is down the road, marry me?

4. Passion

This can be for anything. I just find it amazing for someone to have something set and just fight for it. I mean, passion in the bed room yes, but I’d let you explore the whole house if you have a dream you truly love and are working towards it. You cam be passionate about making a difference in the world, you can have a passion about the arts,  you can even have a passion for collecting little collectable items to look good in your living room. If you have something you can’t wait to talk to me about just because you’re just so excited about the whole thing, then I’ll be sitting hear waiting to hear them all whilst counting the twinkles in your eyes.

5. Appreciation of Life

This one here I feel people forget to find in people. Sometimes finding a partner is all about looks, financial and social security, but we miss out on the small things that can make you both better. I die at the sound of people who just constantly complains about the small things: “my day was sh*t, the printer didn’t work… Carlos was talking about his cat again… the tube was way too busy”. These sort of people slowly kill the happiness within me. But if you get me someone who can provide enough positivity for the both of us, then hello Mr.Disney, you can run my world for me. Just think about it, a person who when you’re having a crap day, can come and just lift you up just by absorbing their aura. *inhales deeply* ahhhh.

These are the things I find attractive. It’s usually character based. Looks to me aren’t really important, they’re more of an extra bonus I guess.It’s like a book, don’t matter how pretty the front cover looks, if the story it tells is about as interesting as watching a snail cross the road, then I’m sorry, you won’t see me go pass the introduction. Superficial attraction never lasts long, but fall in love with a good story, then you’re set for life.