It’s nice to see straight people be open enough to enter a gay bar and live it up. We get it, we’re a fun bunch! To the straight girls, we let you live it up in a space where you’re away from the straight male gaze. For some of the straight guys who attend, your ego is fed and you leave feeling a bit more better about yourself. However, when more and more of you come in, this gay space will no longer be populated by the gay individual but by the straight community who have sold out our security and safety for a bit of fun.
Recently I went to Amsterdam and it was mandatory for me to enter a gay bar as its the only place I can twerk without being judged, tragic, I know! After google searching and quickly seeing the star ratings of some gay bars/clubs, Club NYX stood out the most. So, whilst partially intoxicated and in a rush for a groove, we headed straight for it.
At the door we were ID’d, normal, I know, then had the whole stamped and cloak room process was done with. The music was alive! I meant like, base hitting you so hard your heart beat became irregular at points. We were ready.
However, as we entered the door, something was off. The energy felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t till we did a lap around the club that we realised, that the straight to gay ratio was higher. We were flooded with straight people who were here for a good time AND some more, and we could feel the discomfort of it all. Someone must’ve put on the straight world wide web, “HEY! straight boys! Girls love gay bars, go there and
prey!!”, because it was exactly that! The same reason why straight girls escaped straight clubs was happening right in front of me, straight men who plucked out women in the crowd, who enforced themselves on a victim, who with every gaze stripped women bare and violated them. I could not believe this was happening. The safe space wasn’t safe anymore.
We know, straight men invading spaces isn’t a new thing but, it wasn’t only them who were polluting my gay space.
At one point, during my wonderful performance to ‘Dutty Whine’, I looked from the corner of my eye and was struck by a straight girl giving me the dirtiest of looks. Her and her straight flock made me feel like Trump in a Beyonce concert, unwanted! How dare they! But i refused to be made to feel like this in my space. So from then on, like a straight, white male, I suddenly felt the urges of self-entitlement! This is MY space and you straight girl are not gonna steal that away from me. I swam my way through to the middle of the club and danced my night away. I ignored the gazes, I redirected any straight traffic that was going to puncture my bubble and made sure people knew that this gay space will forever be gay.
For those who have read this far and thought “hey, this is heterophobic”, let me just tell you, you’re lost and severely incorrect! I do not mind sharing my space with straight people, heck! come have fun with us! But as soon as you start turning that space into yours and dominating it so much that you push me, or anyone who fits on the ‘other’ category, out, then that’s when you need to leave!
Everyone in LGBTQIA community have been made ugly and unwanted in your straight spaces, so in order for them to enjoy their night life, they’ve decided to create their own space where those alike can be in a safe space full of acceptance and love. So for you, straight person, to come in and take that away, consider your continuous damage to our identity and at least be cautious of that.
Also, any bars/clubs who bare the flag for the LGBTQIA community, please make sure that all your policies cater those who you represent! Make sure their space is protected and that they aren’t, at any point, made to feel uncomfortable. Everyone is here for a good time, so lets all respect each other’s spaces and dance the night away in peace.
P.s. To any gay readers, ignore Club NYX when on a night out. The reviews were mainly from straight girls. Some reviewers have written how they were badly treated by the security staff and experienced hate crimes. You shouldn’t pay that much to travel just to be ostracised! Go when they update their policy and security!